This past week, as I was rummaging through my bookshelves, I found a five-year-old appointment book filled with the to-do’s of my busy life as an entertainment journalist. At the end was a section with blank note paper where I had begun to write down what I wished for myself. On the list were sentences along these lines: Do yoga three times a week! Start meditating every day! Be more spontaneous! And, of course, the inevitable promise to lose 5 lbs. by Christmas.
The list wasn’t very long, but it hit me that most of the things I had wished for at the time had yet to be accomplished. As I’m packing up my life here in Santa Monica, I’m equally struck by gut-wrenching fear and jumping-through-the-roof excitement about leaving what I’ve loved for so long and embarking upon the unknown. The fast-paced life of living in a big city can be intoxicating. But at this moment, I feel a deep longing for the hamster wheel to stop spinning. I wish to lay down in a meadow and look up at the sky, knowing I don’t have to be anywhere for the next hour. I long to be present. As the dust settles, I imagine a new list will materialize. And this time, I hope to fulfill it.
As the moving boxes start to pile up at my home this week, I’ll reminisce by taking you inside my Santa Monica cottage (Tuesday). Later in the week, there will be a give-away of the pretty favors from Sweden With Love’s launch party at Zouk boutique (Wednesday), with the winners announced on Friday. And please check in for a few surprises in between. Enjoy!
Photograph by Ulrica Wihlborg © 2012.
[Shot with a Contax 645, 80mm lens, Fuji 400H film]